Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.
Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.
Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.
This was a headshot Byron used in his 'book' when he was a New York actor and model. He looked like this as a young man, as a 55 yr old, and even at 80! He was old timey and timeless at the same time.
26 years ago I walked onto the campus of The Conservatory of Theatre Arts at Webster University in St. Louis, MO armed with two songs made famous by Judy Garland for my audition into the Musical Theatre program. I had been singing “You Made Me Love You” in talent shows, pageants, and benefits since I was eight years old. Judy sang it as a teen at a birthday party for Clark Gable. My other selection was “The Trolley Song” from the 1944 movie musical Meet Me In St. Louis.
There was a little southern voiced, silver-haired man behind the table named Byron Grant who was about to change my life. I finished my songs and he said, “I’m curious why you would choose two Judy Garland Songs.” My answer was an impassioned know-it-all love letter to Miss Garland. He said, “Don’t just stand there, come over and sit by me and let’s talk some more about Judy.” We were both instantly smitten.
The next 26 years held four years of college studying under Byron and being his office assistant. He championed me when the conservatory faculty wanted to cut me from the program, he directed me in a musical made famous by Judy’s daughter, Liza. At the end of long days, we would close his office door and put on a musical theatre score and weep at the beauty.
The following 22 years included Byron coming to see me (and many other friends and students) in New York where we shared many fancy restaurant meals, many broadway shows, many bottles of wine, and many secrets, hopes, dreams, and confessions shared. We hand wrote letters for years until email was a thing. We would talk on the phone for hours. When Byron finally got a smartphone and learned how to text and take selfies, our communication took on a whole new level of immediacy and inclusiveness.
My teacher and mentor became one of my best friends. I have an amazing relationship with my own father, so I never tried to make Byron into a father figure. I sent a father’s day card every year, but I always addressed it "To my favorite non-father." He always called me his favorite non-daughter. Many of us were his ‘kids,’ all with very similar stories and relationships like I described above. We were a merry band with Byron as our leader and conductor.
Were. Yup. He’s gone. I sit here typing on Christmas Day sitting in front of my sister’s tree in Carthage, MO and normally I would wait for Byron’s Christmas call to come in. The phone isn’t going to ring. We had a phone conversation three days before the accident that claimed his life. That is something that will stay with me forever.
I’m often confused when someone dies and people say, “We lost so and so.” I’ve always thought it a misuse of words. Lost implies something or someone will be found. Death makes us permanently misplaced, right?
It’s been a week and a half since Byron died. And ya know what? I find him everywhere! As I stand in my sister’s kitchen making our Christmas brunch AND Christmas dinner, he’s there with me. As I listen to music, as I thumb through a cookbook, as I sing Christmas carols… especially this one also made famous by Judy Garland (of course!) in the MGM movie musical Meet Me In St. Louis.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light...
Friends, my heart is not light. I don’t know that I’ll have a light heart for a very long time. And that’s okay. It’s heavy with love for my friends and family. Heavy with memories of my dear Byron.
This is one of the dishes my family will be sharing today as we sit down to Christmas dinner. I created this recipe for StoneRidge Orchards using their dried cranberries. It’s a great dish for the holidays but easy and festive for any dinner throughout the year. Byron was a big fan of Stoneridge Orchards dried fruit and a big fan of All Good Things. Maybe he and Judy are having Christmas dinner together!
Holiday Wild Rice
Ingredients:
4 cups vegetable broth
1 cup wild rice
1 cup mixed brown rice medley
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 cup orange juice
1/2 cup Stonebridge Orchards dried cranberries, more for garnish
1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
1/2 cup toasted slivered almonds, more for garnish
Directions:
Bring broth to a boil, add the 2 kinds of rice, stirring. Add salt and pepper, cover, and simmer for 35 minutes. In the last 5 minutes add the orange juice, cranberries, rosemary, and almonds. Stir to combine. Let cook 5 more minutes. Remove from heat, but keep covered for another 5 minutes. The rice will continue to steam and the cranberries will absorb the orange juice. Fluff with a fork and garnish with more cranberries and almonds.
Food photography by Cheryl Stockton of Stockshot Studio.